Marlboro World. The Journey Starts HERE:

Just stop for a second. Relax. Calm down.

What ever pre-determined beliefs you have in that head of yours, about the tobacco industry, just sit back and try to get rid of them. Allow a little room for new thinking. That's the only way we are going to get through this.

I realise this may be a sensitive issue. There are many organisations around the world 'fighting the evil' and 'demanding justice', etc, etc, etc.

Time to stop all that.

The bottom line is, very few, if any, know what they are really talking about. Most beliefs are exactly that - beliefs. Formed from yet more preconceived stuff - preconceived ideas.

Add that to a bit of outdated research from the pages of wiki, and you got yourself an instant group (or thousands in this particular case) of people who are reactively 'fighting for the cause'.

The cause of what, exactly???

I can only think of one example here. The 'Hunting Ban' in the UK. Fight the ban! Fight the ban! Fight the bloody ban!!!

"...its an invasion of our privacy!"......"..God damn it, this country is loosing its rights to everything!", etc, etc, etc.

I had the pleasure of speaking to a couple of 'fight the ban" people. They didn't have the slightest idea what the issue was about.

They just wanted to fight the ban. that all they wanted to do. Their minds were closed. Their preconceived ideas had got the better of them, and as a result, they were a less happy person than they were before.

Said, ah? But that's life. C'est la vie! as they say in France.

'The ban' is about reducing cruelty to foxes. Nothing more. Nothing less.

So they can go ahead with whatever they did before, as long as they didn't cause harm (or even risk causing harm) to foxes. End of story.

Now whether they end up planting plastic fox decoys in the bushes the night before, or weather they invest in the latest technology and have the thrill of having some electronic 'pests' to chase after is up to them. The issue here is that there is no ban to fight. Just don't harm the foxes.

This same opinionated type seems to hang out in the anti-tobacco groups. Whether its Cancer Research, a department of the NHS or even ASH, one of the most successful anti-smoking establishments, they are all pretty much consisting of a load of preconceived idea people.

Quite frankly, they are way out of touch.

The same is true of Micheal Bloomberg. A man of such stature, intelligence and power, that really he show know better. He even talked Bill Gates into teaming up with him. Together, they are to spent 500millon on 'fighting the cause'.

Of course neither Gates nor Bloomberg have got a clue.

But it's not the Job of NewsSpoon to dish out animosity towards ultra-successful millionaires!!!

No sirie!

But what we will say at this point is that the best guys work at The Philip Morris corporation.

And your future, whether you like it or not (whether you smoke or not is irrelevant), is in their hands.

The 800 responses to BA's 'work for nothing campaign' should be rewarded, says NS

Just imagine the scenario: Not one. Not two, not even three, but eight hundred staff at finished airline BA have opted to work for free - for up to a month!!!

Here at NS, we commend their bravery, determination, and commitment to saving the UK economy.

They deserve an award! A footprint in the concrete at Hollywood or something. Anything!

But then again, maybe they should just all be lined up and collectively shot.

Anyone who listens to the FUD-inducing tones of Mr Walsh needs to be refereed to a mental institution.

Or should we get Mr big-dick himself checked out first???

Second thoughts, let's just get rid of the twat.

Let Michael Grade take over. He's good at travelling :-)

Get a foreign investor from 'Chindia' to take a 49% stake, thus guaranteeing expanding routes to emerging markets, and we're sorted.

DSG forecasts a tough year after posting $140m loss

You don't have to be a moron to be on the board at DSG, but it helps.

Not long ago, NS was frowning at the fact that Dixons-Currys-PC world group were experiencing heavy losses, and were seeking additional investment to help them get by.

This was despite the fact that aggressive U.S electric giant Best-Buy was going to be pushing hard into the space with all guns blazing.

What was needed was a dramatic restructure, not a loan.

And now, just a few months later, hey presto - money being poured down drains large enough to hold Africa's' water reserves.

Vulnerable banks still sensitive to possible economic shocks, report says.

Now hold on a minute!!!

Put that into the news spoon journalism translator, and it comes out as:

Financial Crisis imminent!

That's a code red folks. Everyone to the bridge!!!

NS has every reason to be alarmed. The report says "the fragile state of Britain's banks mean they remain vulnerable, which could spark FRESH TURMOIL should new shocks hit the economy.

Should???

There's s typo for ya!

In today's news alone, we are looking at a collapse in our steel industry. Corus is about to fire 2000 staff from UK plants. There are stockpiles of steel all over the place (admittedly most of which is the result of the governments car scrappage scheme, but we remain positive). Demand has slumped. When the peak of the UK car scrappage scheme has passed (about now by NS's reckoning) we'll be at a virtual standstill. Is that crisis a big enough crisis to constitute it being a crisis???

Errrrr..

'but its not banking. we are talking about banks here'

Look pal, we're talking about the economy here. No pay-cheques, no banks. Comprende?

Economists forecast end of slump in house prices

Whoa there!!!

That can't be right. It's way out of fashion. According to Gary Duncan of The Times, 'The housing market slump is close to ending, with prices set to bottom out at the end of this year and begin (wait for it) RISING again by 2011, the city is predicting."

Just who is this 'city' bloke?

News Spoon insists on knowing more...

Well, this news-hype is a product of news agency Reuters, who ran 'a pole of economists', who are betting that prices will rise during 2011.

They also recon on prices falling a further 8% this year.

Now that's more like it. There's nothing like dishing slices of doom-news, topped with a sugary, chocolate topping.

Yummy!!!

The Future of Newspapers is, err... Google.

It seems you can't even give papers away these days.

God help the sales team bashing away at the phones all day. The tiresome, sweaty lot, tied up in some basement by their phone lines, smiling and dialing.

Has anyone checked suicide rates in the media sales community recently?

As far as NewsSpoon sees it, there is only one company that can save print.

And that is Google.

Why? Well, its becoming apparent people aren't even bothering to go to newspaper web sites anymore.

Such a shame. The Internet was the last hope for advertising...

"Hell, we can be in color all the time at no added cost!!! Hey, get some more interns in, will you?!!!...... We can have graphics!!!! Videos!!! We can morph ourselves into a TV company!!!"

They got so overexcited with the idea, they started referring to parts of their printing rooms as 'Channels'.

The even started having extensions to their business model, with the name TV at the end of it.

All that whizzy advertising? All that flashy art work? It's being looked at by... no one.

Why? 'Coz its all on the desktop, stupid!

iGoogle has the lot. Working away quietly in the background, automatically updating itself with the best stories from around the world, 24/7 without so much as a mention of a tea break.

And its the winning formula.

Google inc. dishes it out for free.

The poorly paid journalist who broke the story gets fired.

Why? 'Coz the business model market has collapsed.

"Sorry guys. I'm going to have to let you go. All of you.", a tearful eyed ED lets rip of the biggest braking-news story he's had the pleasure of discovering in the almost loyal 35 years at he local rag. The rest of his time was spent cutting and pasting from the news wire.

Even he couldn't be bothered to check into his Reuters account. He's got iGoogle right in front of him. All the news in the work in less than one mouse click.

How about that for efficiency?

But here's the kicker yeah ok- we concur. We like kickers at GonzoTech).

While they are all out in the lobby saying their goodbyes and promising to keep in touch 'forever with such a loyal, good natured and genuine friends' (its the first time they've referred to their colleges as friends, but this is an emotional day!!! We must forgive the lack of rational thinking) and writing down illegible email addresses on used napkins that they will accidentally throw away later - 'graduate Johnie's' story is been read by more people around the globe than he could have ever dreamed of.

Two million hits??? The print run was only 250,000!!!

Now there's food for thought.

GonzoTech says:

"Which ever newspaper does a deal with Google secures a future."

What's more, in the ADHD society, where people want faster hits, stronger coffee and even faster food, the forthcoming on-demand cellphone networks will seal the newspapers fate.

By next year, 4g networks will give on -demand, uninterrupted audio and video breaking news stories from across the globe.

And Johnie will be there, on camera, dishing it out to the world.

He never dreamt of being a TV star.

Book Review - 'Who Runs Britain'

We are always on the look out for interesting, insightful and entertaining books in this field, but are constantly let down.

Freakanomics got us entertained in parts, but for the rest, it was downright dreary.

So when a superstar such as Peston was mentioned, we grabbed at the chance!

A right riveting read???

Err.... Nope.

Something worries me about Peston. I'm not sure what it is.

Fair doos, he's a great analyst. He even asks the right questions, but could it be that the BBCs main man lacks the big picture thinking required to solve the world's economic crisis?

Sorry, i forgot for a second there that he is a reporter. Let's not get too carried away!

According to some papers and web sites,you may be mistaken into thinking he is some sort of economic god, an enlightened being who already knows the score before the interview takes place.

Someone who's already got the story sussed, written and wrapped in their head, before heading for the hotel lobby for a double Jack.

His 'Who runs Britain' is apparently a rewrite of guide that claimed to predict that an economic crisis was about to break out.

Only, story has it, that by the time it was printed, that prediction was old news. A remix was in order and this is the result. 300 odd pages of turgid analysts, that while holds an excellent knowledge of finance and the city, does little to educate about the economy.

The trouble with a massive global economic crisis is that everyone looks for local answers. And all the answers are there - They can point fingers at local politics! local banks! even local companies!

Fork's, it's not that simple.

Otherwise we'd have it sussed! Each and every one of us. We would'nt need party-poopers like Peston pissing in our beer glasses.

So what's the verdict here?

Well, if the inner bowels of this country's financial system turn you on, then 'this books for you'.

But don't sit by me at the dinner table.

Part Five

The Chinese of course!


The Chinese are very keen on remodeling the
the world financial system'

Now that's more like it.

A little late maybe, but better late than never, I'll hope you'll agree.


And Darling is working hard to ensure a bi-lateral trade agreement between the uk and china will 60bn by 2010'

There's nothing like a sense of humor.

But, we have no choice but to take the Chinese seriously.

They are the only one left with any spending cash.

Even Dubai has gone tits up

The last one standing doesn't even speak our language.


Something tells me an investment in publishing language guides would be a good investment.



Those printing presses would be put to better use by knocking out several million phrase books so we can all speak fluent mandarin.

Forget sterling! It's finished anyway. No good getting all emotional about our currency. We'll leave that to Hague and his 'save the pound' campaign.

We'll be spending out Yuans. He'll be out on his on.

With the Chinese yuan is on the brink of overtaking the u.s dollar as the worlds reserve currency, even the Americans are coming around to this way of thinking.

Professor Roubini of new york stern business school has been nick-named Dr doom for his negative stance.

And while all this is happening, trade continues to fail in the US, and unemployment continues to rise.

With the lowest figures since 1950, and nearly 8million unemployed, its time USA fesses up to put faith in china.


Keep those phrase books handy!

Part Four

China, is becoming increasingly concerned about the antics of Brown and Darling.

They see them as a bit like a group of kids who keep losing all the money. Then printing more.

Its a bit like the person who ate all the pies.

Only to bake a hundred more.

Its an addiction!


China is worried that, this time, if we go ahead wit the decision to print more money, it would destabilize the world economy.


And That's not a could. It's a would.

So lets just run by that again, in simple turns, for the layman amongst us...

Chancellors, secretaries, those sorts of people.

We seem to have a tad of a dilemma on our hands ladies and gentlemen.

Do we

a) Print more cash to prevent further crisis (or crises depending on weather its part of the existing crisis)

OR

b) NOT print money to avoid destabilizing the worlds economy?


Hmmm. That's a toughy.

Isn't that just the same thing?

Checkmate, as they say in the game of Russian roulette.


Has doomsday finally arrived?

I must say its somewhat earlier than usual.
According to these books, they predict it wont come for a few more years.

the world is happening right before us, and even the economists have got it wrong. Typical.

I guess We can see how bad its going to get folks.

But luckily, there is ANOTHER WAY...

Its a wild card. The get out of jail card.

Remember, we are playing monopoly here.

It's not real money!!!



So in addition to A and B the government could always use this


its the quitting card. The Walking away and don't have to bother taking any action card.

That's right.

The present government can always use this, and march of into the sunset guilt free.


Yeah. Leave it to the Tori's! Let them have it. A nice bequeath present. That will sort the wheat from the chaff.


But meanwhile, who on search can we turn to in the time of need?

Part Three

And what about 'camera-woman'?

Exactly how many cameras does he need???


[pic – cameras]



Does she keep loosing them?



Or does she just keep forgetting he has just bought one?



Does he have some kind of metal illness that causes the sudden and unstoppable urge to burst into the latest camera store in search of the latest model?

You can imagine the sales man in that store.



Initially, he must think the woman is nuts.

Why does she keep on coming in, asking for cameras???

By the time he’s ordered his fifth camera, the salesman is ecstatic:



‘Madam, I have a new selection of cameras just in. I saved the most expensive one for you!



It’s a little on the expensive side, at a thousand pounds, but its worth it. I know you have a tastes for collecting the latest luxury products.



At which point, camera-woman replies with a surprised look on her face: ‘errrr how did you know I wanted a camera???



Smart lad! Don’t worry about the cost. It’s a present for m my constituency. I’ll take it!!!

And so it goes on - all behind hidden doors until the Telegraph did the expose of the century.

Even I read it these days.



Just for the gossip pages.



It's the 'Hello Magazine' concept, but for grown ups.



It's just a great shame that this shocking expose (or entertaining expose - depending on how you look at it) comes at a time when the economy is in a critical state.


Brown & Darling are trying to fix it.

No matter how hard he tries, the economy is just not responding.

It's like a dead corpse.

But instead of using a resuscitation technique (such as a mains cable dipped in the bath), darling uses money. Printed money.



He's got this printing press.

And its great!

Your economy looks like its headed for precession?

Print some more money?



Your exchange rate drops? Print some more money!

It’s the answer to everything.



Who ever came up with that idea is a genius. They should be rewarded handsomely.

But at the same time, one can't help that they should be given a good slapping.



Why the hell didn't they think of it earlier???

If they did, we wouldn't have had a recession in the first place, and we certainly wouldn't be in the mess we are now.



We should all have printing presses.



We could all be multi millionaires then.



We could sell them on eBay. they'd sell hundreds of them.



What better way to kick-start the economy?



Forget kick-staring the economy. This money is going to be need in order to maintain.

Meryn king (shown here test-driving a wig with the same colour code of Alistair darlings bollocks, has announced that more money will need to be printed prevent a relapse into a crisis.



Is he talking about a new crisis?

Or is he talking about a new crisis?


You must excuse me, but I'm getting a tad confused with all these 'crisiseze'.

Part Two

So its especially good news to hear that the recession will be 'over by Christmas'.

According to Darling, that is.

Look, he may not be the authority on these matters, but he's the guy in charge.

We have to respect that!

And giggle in the knowledge that the guy is completely out of his depth.

But while we can have a laugh at him.

I hope he is not having a laugh with us.

I need to know he's serious.

Is he?

Or his he having a jokey-wokey?

The way he sits smiling his head off in the house of commons, you could be mistaken for thinking he doesn't have a care in the world.

Let's not forget, he can quit at any time!

So he doesn't have to carry around the burden with him all the time.


But this is serous business!

Someone has to carry the burden.

I'm loosing sleep at night.

All i can see is 2012. Right in front of my eyes.


But what do other people think?

[VT]

That last guy doesn't count. He's Spanish for Christ sake.

What do they know about the economy?

Their beer stinks.

It's no wonder they are in more *hit than we are.

But these people are just ordinary working men and women

who pay taxes.

While others spend the money they receive in taxes

on luxurious items for their homes

and ducks.


What happened to that duck pond thingie, anyway?!!!

It's mysteriously vanished.

Was it insured?


I need to know these things!

I paid for it!

I'm entitled to know where it is!

GonzoTech's guide to the world economy. Part One

1. 'Economy' becomes trendy a


At last!

Its official, folks The Economy is now the biggest issue on the worlds agenda.

According to an article written for the telegraph,
The economy has eclipsed crime, immigration and the NHS as the biggest single concern for the public as the credit crunch continues to reverberate around the world.


Last summer, just 2 per cent of adults believed the economy was the most important topic facing the UK.

But this has soared, with whopping 24 per cent now saying it is the biggest problem facing the prime minister.

Should we be overly concerned?

It turns out, we're not alone.

(How reassuring!)

According to a recent Gallop pole, the word 'economy' now takes precedence over environment' in the USA.

The pole found that - for the first time in 25 years - the Economy is now the highest regarded topic on the agenda.

Compared to 1984, at which time over 60% chose the environmental, Economy is the new buzzword.


Is that a progress of human evolution?

Or are we going backwards as a race?

Let's whizz back to 1984 and take a look at other events that happened that year.

The biggest story could well have been:

'Michael Jackson burned in Pepsi ad'

'Michael Jackson has received hospital treatment for serious burns to his head after his hair caught light during a freak filming accident.

The 25-year-old entertainer was singing his hit "Billie Jean" for a Pepsi Cola commercial in Los Angeles when the special effects went wrong. '

Three thousand fans saw a firework display erupt behind the superstar, showering him in sparks and setting light to his hair.

Some studio audience members thought the incident was part of the act.

A witness was known to have said: "He was wonderful."


Well, we don't listen to Michael Jackson for starters.

Why the hell would we?

We have iPhones!

The Internet!

Family guy!

And er... the biggest financial crisis since the great depression!

The Price Of Love

Under Pashtunwali, the tribal morality code held in southern Afghanistan, relations between unmarried or unrelated members of the opposite sex are strictly regulated. But by who?

The execution earlier this week of a 14-year-old girl and her boyfriend in front of their village mosque - while villagers looked on - was a true modern day Romeo and Juliet scenario with a tragic ending.

The girl, called Gulsima, had been unhappily engaged to marry when she fell in love with Aziz, aged 17. The pair attempted to escape the village of Lokhi and planned to run away to Iran.

Their dreams were shattered however, when they were captured and dragged back into the village.

After two full days of deliberation, a council of elders were unable to decide how to resolve the dispute. Half the elders favoured some way of allowing them to marry, while the other half favoured execution. As the council was deadlocked, local Taliban militants stepped in, and overruled the village leaders. They declared the lovers should be executed.

"Three Taliban mullahs brought them to the local mosque and they passed a fatwa (religious decree) that they must be killed. They were shot and killed in front of the mosque in public," Ghulam Dastageer Azad, governor of the province said. He added that the act was an "insult to Islam".

The Afghan Independent Human Rights Commission described the killings as the "worst act against mankind"

It is unlikely this story will make major headlines.

And Now...Time for a Tree Break

A Break From The Norm...

The old house takes on a rare state of tranquility when the old man is sick. He fell off a noddy yesterday and since then he's been in bed. Not 100% of the time, but near enough. Ok, he ejected himself from the bedclothes periodically to take the mandatory toilet breaks, but save that, he's hasn't moved in 36 hours.

The old woman is listening to a Coldplay CD on track repeat. It's played 26 times today already, but I consider that an improvement in way of the fact that she is actually taking time to focus on the one track from Coldplay that is any good. I think its called Politic, but its spelt wrong.

Over the road, just beyond the river, the sun sets strongly, leaving a burning band of orange across the landscape. The walk is over, the 'rellies' went back to the fog in London, and I'm pouring another Guinness.

Cheers!!!

Confusion, Anarchy and Confrontation In The Sky: GonzoTech Has The Answer

Whether the current (and future) economic climate will actually demand an additional runway is, of course, a topic that is firmly off the agenda at this stage. At Heathrow, it's all systems GO!!! And what an upheaval there is too...










Hundreds of activists opposed to a third runway at Heathrow have staged a protest at Terminal 5. And it's no wonder. Not only is the environment at stake, but also an entire village. Sipson has not only the great misfortune to be placed bang in the middle of the proposed new runway, but the main exit road is to plough straight through an ancient graveyard, upsetting the living as well as the dead.




Now calm down. GonzoTech, as usual, has the answer. Not only that, but GonzoTech is proud to be able to kill several birds with one stone. All at the same time.





Here's the plan. We use the River Thames as the 'third runway', thus avoiding the necessity to destroy a village, whilst at the same time drastically improving commuting times to the City of London.





"That would be a dream come true!!!" an unknown source told GonzoTech today in overly-excited tones. "Not only could I be off the plane and in my office in less than ten minutes, but I could enjoy superb views of the London Skyline on the way."




Allegedly, we've been told by Airbus that they are working a more modern design as we speak, more suited to land on water. The updated A320 incorporates the novel idea of having wire mesh over the air intakes to the jets to prevent unauthorized entry by wildfowl. Pure Genius!




As if that wasn't enough (here at GonzoTech, it never is), we have liaised with the International Pilots Union to improve the ride. When the service is finally launched (the go-ahead for project is dependant on whether or not the end of the credit crunch will necessitate commuters to central London) passengers will be given the thrill of being flown under Tower Bridge, only moments before landing.


I just hope that stone of yours knocks out the birds before they actually go into the engine - ED

Confusion, Anarchy and Confrontation In The Sky: GonzoTech Has The Answer

Whether the current (and future) economic climate will actually demand an additional runway is, of course, a topic that is firmly off the agenda at this stage. At Heathrow, it's all systems GO!!! And what an upheaval there is too...










Hundreds of activists opposed to a third runway at Heathrow have staged a protest at Terminal 5. And it's no wonder. Not only is the environment at stake, but also an entire village. Sipson has not only the great misfortune to be placed bang in the middle of the proposed new runway, but the main exit road is to plough straight through an ancient graveyard, upsetting the living as well as the dead.




Now calm down. GonzoTech, as usual, has the answer. Not only that, but GonzoTech is proud to be able to kill several birds with one stone. All at the same time.





Here's the plan. We use the River Thames as the 'third runway', thus avoiding the necessity to destroy a village, whilst at the same time drastically improving commuting times to the City of London.





"That would be a dream come true!!!" an unknown source told GonzoTech today in overly-excited tones. "Not only could I be off the plane and in my office in less than ten minutes, but I could enjoy superb views of the London Skyline on the way."




Allegedly, we've been told by Airbus that they are working a more modern design as we speak, more suited to land on water. The updated A320 incorporates the novel idea of having wire mesh over the air intakes to the jets to prevent unauthorized entry by wildfowl. Pure Genius!




As if that wasn't enough (here at GonzoTech, it never is), we have liaised with the International Pilots Union to improve the ride. When the service is finally launched (the go-ahead for project is dependant on whether or not the end of the credit crunch will necessitate commuters to central London) passengers will be given the thrill of being flown under Tower Bridge, only moments before landing.


I just hope that stone of yours knocks out the birds before they actually go into the engine - ED

Marlboro World

Great news!!! Finally. In this day and age of mass redundancies, company closures, stockpiles of unsold cars. Unpaid mortgages. Entire streets for sale (remember the high street???). Entire streets for sales (empty, repossessed houses). Etc, etc. You get the deal.

Either that or you're a millionaire and don't have to worry about such trivia.

So what's new? Well, due to public demand, Philip Morris International are opening an all-new manufacturing plant in India. Think of all those new jobs!!! Thing of all the money!!! Think of all the TAX!!!

Let's not worry about any possible health implications right now. Even if there are any (who's interested in that?) that will come later.

Of course, we've got the World Health Organisation to thank for that one, but more on that later.

Marlboro World

Great news!!! Finally. In this day and age of mass redundancies, company closures, stockpiles of unsold cars. Unpaid mortgages. Entire streets for sale (remember the high street???). Entire streets for sales (empty, repossessed houses). Etc, etc. You get the deal.

Either that or you're a millionaire and don't have to worry about such trivia.

So what's new? Well, due to public demand, Philip Morris International are opening an all-new manufacturing plant in India. Think of all those new jobs!!! Thing of all the money!!! Think of all the TAX!!!

Let's not worry about any possible health implications right now. Even if there are any (who's interested in that?) that will come later.

Of course, we've got the World Health Organisation to thank for that one, but more on that later.

Credit Crunching #2/100,000,000

Shares in U.S banks fall 25%........Unemployment rising in the USA by 500,000 per month.... The world-wide recession deepens....

And now what what??? Well, the 'bottom has slipped from view' claims the Telegraph.

The media are starting to get to grips with this baby. Let's hope the world does the same.

Credit Crunching #2/100,000,000

Shares in U.S banks fall 25%........Unemployment rising in the USA by 500,000 per month.... The world-wide recession deepens....

And now what what??? Well, the 'bottom has slipped from view' claims the Telegraph.

The media are starting to get to grips with this baby. Let's hope the world does the same.

Credit Crunching #1/100,000,000

The News of The World paid a dominatrix half of the £25,000 previously offered to make a secret film of Max Mosley's sex session because of the credit crunch, the Times reports.

Sex sells. For less.

Credit Crunching #1/100,000,000

The News of The World paid a dominatrix half of the £25,000 previously offered to make a secret film of Max Mosley's sex session because of the credit crunch, the Times reports.

Sex sells. For less.

Macro Foto

Most cameras have a macro facility somewhere. Of course, hardly anyone uses it. Why would they even be vaguely interested? "My camera works perfectly well as it is thanks. Now LEAVE IT ALONE!!!!"

Any attempt to politely show them (yes folks, showing is better than telling) does in vein, and may result in physical violence. Either that or a broken camera. Then you'll really be in the *hit.

But what of this macro baloney? It's there for a reason. Indeed it is.

You see, although your camera is taking perfectly reasonable photos 99.9% of the time (or even 100% of the time if you are a typical camera user), there are times when macro means business.

These two shots here, taken at night, not only focus in the near-field, but also the camera lights up the near field, therefore 'focusing' the best of your cameras abilities within say a ten inch range. You won't get charged extra for using it - so why not give it a bash???

For demonstration purposes, i have included a shot without macro, taken at the same time.

Macro Foto

Most cameras have a macro facility somewhere. Of course, hardly anyone uses it. Why would they even be vaguely interested? "My camera works perfectly well as it is thanks. Now LEAVE IT ALONE!!!!"

Any attempt to politely show them (yes folks, showing is better than telling) does in vein, and may result in physical violence. Either that or a broken camera. Then you'll really be in the *hit.

But what of this macro baloney? It's there for a reason. Indeed it is.

You see, although your camera is taking perfectly reasonable photos 99.9% of the time (or even 100% of the time if you are a typical camera user), there are times when macro means business.

These two shots here, taken at night, not only focus in the near-field, but also the camera lights up the near field, therefore 'focusing' the best of your cameras abilities within say a ten inch range. You won't get charged extra for using it - so why not give it a bash???

For demonstration purposes, i have included a shot without macro, taken at the same time.

The Wye At Night

The River Wye, in Herefordshire, and the fields adjacent, during an evening stroll earlier in the week.

The Wye At Night

The River Wye, in Herefordshire, and the fields adjacent, during an evening stroll earlier in the week.